Gary Allan photo courtesy of MCA Nashville
May 29, 2007 — Gary Allan, who appeared on "Oprah" last week to talk about his wife's suicide, said he's speaking out to try to help those suffering from depression and the people who love them.
"I don't know what I would do different or if I could change [the past]," he said on the show. "But if somebody could see the pattern in themselves or somebody else?I know that you have to be your own advocate out there."
Gary said his life with Angela and their six kids from previous relationships was picture perfect before her depression set in. "We used to spend every second together, and she was always very bubbly and happy," he said. "Having all the kids in the same house, it was madness. It was so fun. She was so lovely."
But Angela's personality began to change after she started experiencing allergies and migraines. "She would spend a lot of time in her room," Gary said. "She would start out with a headache and load herself down with pain medication and then get depressed. Our conversations had less logic to them. I found her crying, and I remember sitting in the closet with her for a good two hours."
Although friends and family members tried to persuade Angela to seek help, Gary said it was hard for her to accept that she might have a psychological problem. "To me, it was something we were going to get through," he said. "It was very illogical when she would stay down for so long. I never really understood it."
Gary said he believes his wife was physically ill on the evening of her suicide in October 2004. "She had a bunch of pain medication in her body," he said. "I believe the migraines were the trigger — that was where her depression started. That was the part that everybody missed."
After a lot of prayer and counseling, which began the morning after Angela's suicide, Gary said he and the children are doing well. "I think, overall, everybody's really holding up," he said. "I think that we handled it as good as we could have handled it."
Gary said he still misses his wife. "She made every day magic somehow," he said. "I love her, and I forgive her. And I wish she wouldn't have done it."
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